Well, it looks official. Birth mom #2 hasn't responded for a couple months and she just posted a couple posts on her blog which said she is planning on being a single parent and sharing custody with her x-husband. She found out she is having a girl. It pretty much just made me weak after reading her posts. I am so deflated words can't even describe this feeling. I almost don't even want to waste my breathe or time thinking about it because it is what it is. Nothing is going to change my situation or help me get a baby any faster. I thought everything was lining up just perfectly. A girl that is so open and honest that could be our birth mom, the baby being born mid November a few months before the tax credit, a month before Christmas for the best Christmas present ever. She is having a baby girl which is what I want so badly. Of course this is too much to ask. Why would I even dare think I deserve to have everything fall into place with all the little bonuses involved. Apparently I shouldn't get what I want that easily. 5-6 years is not long enough to be trying for a baby. Who cares if my life has no meaning and is unsatisfying. Who cares that she made comments that gave us false hopes, that's just the way it is.
Why waste any more of my time talking about something that is not going to happen. I have nothing else to say.
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