I just don't know what to do with myself

What do you do when life just isn't satisfying no matter how hard you try? Our 7 year anniversary is this week and I love my husband dearly but the same bump and grind every day is really starting to put me in the dumps. We have been trying to start our family for the past 5-6 years, not months but years and nothing. I personally feel like I have been trying hard to make the most out of my life and just take advantage of the opportunities that come my way to keep my spirits up, but unfortunately I can't find anything to focus my time and energy on that I enjoy. The job market sucks right now and I can't even seem to get interviews for jobs that I am interested in and I have a great resume. I am pretty dang good at interviewing too but I can't even get to that point. I am so burnt out from putting all my time and energy into working for someone else that I honestly have no desire and kind of dread getting a full time job somewhere that pays crap. I like being able to sleep in a bit and to have a little more flexibility. I have been working promotional jobs a lot on the weekends that pay pretty good and I enjoy doing those events, so that helps keep my sanity. But the problem is the week days when I am not working and the hubby is working and everyone else that has a real job. I don't know what to do with that time. So I am at home basically just cleaning up messes and doing dishes and laundry all day long and it's pretty much just depressing. And the only other people that are at home in the day are my neighbor friends that are stay at home moms that have all their kids running around and interrupting our conversation and it just gets annoying so I would rather not hang out with them....so I end up staying at home by myself cleaning up messes. So you would think, well when your neighbor friend's husbands get off work then they could watch the kids and I could have an adult conversation and just hang out with my friend, but the problem is they want to hang out as a family when their hubby gets off work so as you can see, I don't really fit in anywhere and it sucks really bad. This is my life day in and day out with no real satisfaction. Me and the hubby will go on a fun ride on the four-wheeler or camping for the weekend or something which is fun in the moment, but when we get back, it's the same empty feeling like something is missing. It's really tough not knowing how long I am going to have to live with this feeling. I understand that a baby will come to me in the Lord's time and not my time frame but it doesn't change the fact that my days are empty and although I am married, I still feel lonely and unfulfilled. I don't know if this makes sense to anybody but myself but it's my honest feelings and I don't want anyone to try and make me feel better because there is nothing that anyone can say or do that I haven't already thought about. It is what it is and there is no changing the situation. I just have to learn to deal with it and that is what I am trying real hard to figure out.

I have no motivation to workout or to do projects or crafts or anything. I have no goals and don't know what I want for myself. I am trying so hard to find something to put my focus on but all I want is a baby to love, take care of and enjoy every moment with. I just don't know how long I am going to have to wait for or what other hard things I am going to have to deal with before I get to that point. It really sucks more than words can describe. I am sick of people telling me that I just have to trust in God and know that it will happen when it's supposed to. I already know this. I have a strong testimony and I get it. I really do. But I can't help the fact that my days are not fulfilling or satisfying to me no matter how hard I try to take my mind off what is missing in my life and focus on what I do have. It just makes me feel guilty that something is wrong with me and that I am a very negative person that can't focus on my blessings. I am an achiever and I need goals or hobbies to work towards. I put 100% in everything I do, but I don't have anything to put my focus on. I keep brainstorming lots of different ideas, but none seem to get me excited or make me feel passionate about it; and that is the missing key.