So, obviously getting pregnant on my own is not the right avenue for me, so thank goodness there is another option to start our family. Who knows how long it will take but at least there is another avenue to bring a special spirit into this world. Hubby and myself decided we should go through LDS Family Services and try to adopt a child. We first met with our case worker and started the process almost a year ago, started the paperwork process and ultimately got defeated. I hit an emotional road block when I realized, "wow, this is an exhausting process and a lot of work time involved and they are asking me very detailed questions about every aspect of my life and it's pretty intense." It was hard knowing that a girl that doesn't use protection one night can get pregnant that one time and not even want the baby and I have to give every detail about my life and spend hours, days, and months just to get the process started to try and get a baby.
Here are some of the things we have to do to get started: meet with caseworker, fill out application, get a bishop's reference letter, get previous taxes and financial information, fill out online questionare asking about just about everything in your life including, parent's hobbies, hair color, eye color, height, education background, work history, siblings physical features and education and work background, strengths of spouse and weaknesses of spouse etc. Background check, medical report, OBGYN letter about infertility treatments, certified copy of birth certificates for husband and wife, certified copies of marriage license and sealing certificate, drivers license, social security cards. And then after you fill out that long intensive all inclusive questionare, you have to do it again in a word document so it reads like a story and ends up being around 10 pages. Then you write a letter to the birth mother that is published online, put together a 24 picture photo album, answer get to know you questions about yourself that also goes online to what books you like to read, what music you listen to, favorite food etc.
Then we have adoption classes to learn more about the process and the experience. Another step is the case worker with meet with my and hubby together and then meet with us separately and ask about our parenting styles, she will also come to our house and do a home check.
At first I am thinking, "ok, I just need to get all this paperwork finished and jump through all these hoops, then I can know my part is done and put it in the Lord's hands and wait for a call that we have a baby waiting for us." Well, we went to our first adoption class last night and I fear that I am sorely mistaken. I got a reality check when I heard about birth mom's that will call you and want to meet with you to get to know you better, but she has also called 4 other couples and is trying to pick the best fit. So you can't get your hopes up there. Than there is the story that the birth mom picks you and you pay all the expenses to go out of state or wherever to pick up the baby at the hospital, and she decides she wants to keep the baby. So you drive home with newborn diapers and an empty care seat and formula staring you in the face knowing you are going to an empty house and starting the waiting process all over again. I am pretty sure I will have lots more tears to shed over this experience. I try real hard not to get my hopes up sometimes, but that is just easier said than done. The teacher of this class also mentioned that the average wait for a baby is 1 1/2 to 2 years and they are currently experiencing a lot less baby's being adopted because single birth moms have decided to keep their babies.
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