The past couple weeks

The past couple weeks have been mostly good with a few downer days in there. It can be pretty random when I all of a sudden get sad. I was exercising with a friend the other day and it kind of brought up some emotions for me. I saw all these cute little kids running around and playing while we were exercising and I couldn't help but think, "gosh dang it, I want one! And I am really getting sick of waiting and being patient. It's enough already and it's getting real old real fast." I had to go outside and be alone and get some fresh air and tried to hold back the tears.

We have been emailing back and forth with birth mom #2 but hadn't heard from her for several days. Even the hubby started getting down and bummed out that we hadn't heard from her for awhile. But then we finally got an email from her which boosted our spirits back up to par. Our relationship has being growing quite a bit through these emails. She is very sincere and open and honest which is refreshing. She says she wishes she could give us a definite answer of what she is going to do, but she has not yet decided. She says some really nice things in her emails and she told us she feels really good about us and knows we will be amazing parents. She is so mature for her age and is definitely going through some challenging times getting a divorce and being pregnant on top of that. And not only is she pregnant but she hasn't told the X yet, and will wait until her 12 week appointment which is in about two weeks.

From the relationship we have developed thus far, we would have no problem with having quite an open adoption and relationship. She lives just a couple exits away from my family and I would have no problem meeting up with her on my way down to visit my family and letting her see the baby. Also, her sister will be starting college in the fall where we live and we would have no problem if she came up to visit her sister, she could visit the baby as well. Everything would work out so well and it just seems to be lining up just perfectly. We really hope this works out and that this girl would be "our" birth mom. But again, you can't get too excited about anything because nothing is set in stone until the baby is in our arms. The fact that everything is lining up so well, it really would be devastating if it didn't work out. I am trying to stay neutral with my emotions knowing she could keep the baby, but you just can't help but feel hopeful knowing the situation would be perfect for all of us. For me, right now, it just feels right. Only time will tell if this intuition falls true or is completely false.